Notes From the Road: Women You’ll Meet in Yellowstone Country

A few weeks ago, we talked about all the men you’ll meet in Montana’s Yellowstone Country (for better or for worse). Now, it’s time to give you a glimpse into the lives of the women of Yellowstone Country—and how to identify them in the wild with their own signature speak.

The Girl Who Does Everything
And does it better than you. You aren’t sure what’s more exhausting: having your own active weekend or hearing about hers. She originally came to Yellowstone Country for (insert favorite activity here), but soon realized that the proximity to mountains, rivers, lakes and trails meant that she didn’t have to choose. So, she did the most logical thing she could think of—rented a place with a garage and set about to filling it with the most outdoor gear that she possibly could. Which means that if you ever need to borrow a helmet/bike/snowboard/paddle, she’s your gal.

Signature Line: “So after I went kite-surfing, I swung by the Co-Op for a smoothie on my way to meet the girls at the crag and managed to get a quick ab workout in while I was waiting for them to blend in my wheatgrass shot …”

The Coffee Shop Cruiser
Like her name implies, this gal has been to all the coffee shops in Yellowstone Country and could name their signature blends from memory—as well as their policy on WiFi connection. If she isn’t a student, she’s likely a designer, writer, coder or other creative that requires only a strong cup of joe, the whir of a cappuccino machine and a reliable internet connection. Because of her proximity to many, many other people’s conversations, she’s a got a strong finger on the pulse of town and is the go-to for insight on the daily goings-on (not to mention who’s breaking up, getting married, moving out or moving on). She revels in the fact that the easy pace of life in Yellowstone Country allows her to have her own professional freedom—namely, that she can make a decent living from behind her laptop at the wooden table of a coffee shop.

Signature Line: “Hmmm … is it just me or did I order a decaf?”

The Mountain Mama
Her decision to have children has in no way impacted her active lifestyle and her proudest (and most anticipated) moment is when her kid took the chairlift all by himself. Equal parts determined and sympathetic, she’s the only person you have ever met that would pop her four-year-old on a two-wheeler and cruise around Yellowstone National Park—in a downpour. She treats bumps and bruises like badges of honor and is averse to the Band-Aid as a panacea to pain (often because it would cost her most of her salary to keep her kid’s scratches at bay with Band-Aids). The one thing you’ll never hear her complain about? That her kids don’t sleep at night.

Signature Line: “Have fun and watch out for bears!”

The EcoGal

In between scheduling alternative therapy appointments and deciding between the healthiest milk substitutes (is it coconut? Or almond?), this gal is cruising around town on her recycled-and-repurposed fixed-gear bicycle, often sporting a trailer on the back for the weekly grocery load-ups at the farmer’s market. When she’s not attending a lecture on sustainable farming, she’s likely perusing her local used bookstore on a hunt for her favorite author or attending a local meditation circle in a park.

Signature Line: “Can I buy this in bulk?”

The Wanderer
Swept in with the seasonal winds, The Wanderer is brought to Yellowstone Country by either the deep, deep powder of winter or the long, hot summer days. She totes only a backpack and select outdoor gear of choice (snowboard, trad climbing gear, fishing rod) and can be identified by her infrequent change of clothing and her bold declaration that every day in Yellowstone Country is, “The best day ever.” Come to think of it, most Yellowstone Country gals are at least some part Wanderers … until they trade their backpacks for a lease and their outdoor gear for … a garage to house even more outdoor gear.

Signature Line: “Not all who wander are lost. Know what I mean?”