The lists have been made, we’ve checked them twice. And while we’re hoping that we’re on the nice list this year, there was that one time. Anyway, we’re all adults and we know that most Christmas gifts can be easily had from a quick stop on Main Street. But we have a few things we’d like that can’t be bought in the stores, so we’re hoping the big guy in the red suit can help us out.
12. Three feet of snow. We’re not sure if Santa reads these from top to bottom or bottom to top. Just in case, we’ve got our bases covered.
11. A really nice rideshare for that one guy who drives 15 mph during morning rush hour. Because I’ve done everything I can in the way of blinker-flashing and high-beam flicking and he still doesn’t seem to understand just how important it is to start playing in the snow.
10. A clear Christmas tree stand: Seriously, how am I supposed to know when to water the damn thing?
9. Speaking of trees, how about a tree that doesn’t shed. Arguably the worst part of December 26th is dragging that thing out the door. Because no matter how often you vacuum, you’ll still be finding needles well into July.
8. A dog that can open a beer bottle. I mean, my dog seems to know how to remove the baseboards from the wall, de-heel all my shoes and take all of the trash OUT of the garbage can, but yet can’t seem to gnaw open a beer bottle. Use your powers for good, Fido!
7. My whole family to say "Ah, forget traditions. Let’s go skiing!" Please, Mom and Dad?
6. A travel coffee mug. One that actually releases coffee, doesn’t spill down your chin, doesn’t leak when popped in a backpack, can be easily handled with gloves on, and fits into a cup holder. There are 9 million coffee mugs on the market. How is it possible that this doesn’t exist yet?
5. World peace. See, Santa? See how generous we are? Now about that snow storm…
4. An ice scraper with a 50-foot handle. So I can scrape off my car when its -30 from my bedroom, of course.
3. For all cookies that we’ve consumed in the past 30 days to immediately be converted to muscle. It would make training for ski season a whole lot easier.
2. Our kids to sleep until 9am on Christmas morning. We’ve heard this can also be accomplished with Benadryl, but we’re going to try the straight and narrow this year.
1. Even more snow. We know we just got hit with 21 inches this weekend, but we’re gluttons for punishment; keep it comin’, Santa!
Happy Holidays! We hope you get everything you ask for (especially that snow storm).